Friday, December 16, 2016

Driving Hallows

B: ::calling J:: Babe, I'm driving in the rain and a warning light I've never seen before turned on on my dashboard.

J: What is it?

B: It's a triangle inside a circle with an exclamation in the center.

J: ... is it the Deathly Hallows?

B: I guess so?

J: Um. Call Dumbledore?

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

That dream was so gay

B: AH-HA!
J: What?
B: You're part of the Gay Agenda!
J: In what way?
B: ::snores::

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Sleep enemas

B: I thought I was opening up your butt cheeks.

J: I'm sorry, what?

B: I said, I thought you were laying on the bed.

J: Very similar.

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Dream job

B: Babe.

J: Yeah?

B: What's the name of the place where I work? Not Ruby Tuesday, the other one. Starlight Mountain?

J: <no answer>

B: Jori works there, too.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Brave dreams

B: Poor Merida
J: What?
B: Poor Merida. She always gets stuck.
J: Stuck where?
B: She always get stuck. People taking things away from her.

Friday, January 15, 2016

Toxic in your sleep

J: Did you call the maintenance office?

B: Um. It's non-toxic. <pauses> Glue.